13 oct visit

Hi, Kai Him here and today, 13th October 2012 it was my second time volunteering with you guys. Today my group (Yi An, Louise, Valerie, Clement) and I went to visit Mr Tay and Mdm Cheng. Mdm Cheng is a new addition to the elderly that we visit.

I visited Mr Tay on the last visit as well, and I felt that he was much happier today! As usual, we went to his place and he will do his standard moves:

1. Ask if we have eaten.
2. Offer us can drinks.
3. Repeat 1 and 2 indefinitely.
4. Ask if we brought him newspapers.
5. Go drink kopi!

So as per usuals we brought him to drink kopi + butter. Having tried this drink last time round already, I decided not to join in this time as I didnt want caffeine today. As I was terrible at hokkien, I always had difficulty talking to him, and even listening. I could probably catch 20% at most, and many times I want to open my mouth but nothing comes out, except maybe jia ba liao. Today, he was more mischievous and told us his childhood story, when he erm, pee-ed into his principal's coffee mug and happily watched him drink it! We were quite stunned yet amused by that. He also told us that he had many female friends, but they only went out but he did not bring them home. And when we mentioned about his teeth being yellow he suddenly shocked us by removing his dentures slightly and moving them around, shaking in his mouth!!! Scared us, but extremely adorable Mr Tay is (:


Mdm Cheng lives further away and we had to walk a bit. Mdm Cheng is fluent in mandarin, cantonese and probably hokkien too! She told us she learnt mandarin from watching TV! She is wheelchair bound and stays indoors mostly, except when her friend comes around to bring her to the hawker center for food. I would believe that if we visit her the next time we can try our best to bring her down too. She said that her house is quite clean and I think our volunteers can just help out with a little bit of housework the next time round. Clean the windows or something. She rents a room out as well. I think the important part is that we talk to her. She says it herself that she is very lonely after her husband departed from this world a few years back. As she mentioned about her husband, she could not control her emotions and tears began to well up in her red swollen eyes. I didnt know what to do or say but at the point of time, I understood her. She just wanted company, and whoever saw this scene would surely want to be her friend. I want to be back for her.


And as usual, the comm will be asking for people to blog about the visit after the day, and once again most people were reluctant or hesitant about doing it. Me too. I wasn't passionate enough to raise my hand and say I will do that. I guess we are all lazy to do so, or too busy in our own opinion? But as my group and I were trying to play a game to decide who shall do the blogging, I suddenly saw how wrong this was, and i felt bad, maybe even disgusted by myself. Blogging about the visit should not be a punishment, for the loser of the game to settle it. And so, I said I would volunteer to do so, and hoped the rest would volunteer once in a while in the following weeks.

For me, I feel that it is really not so much important how much you write or what you write, but to give you a chance to type things out and rethink of the significance and effect the visits might have on you. It is especially useful for the new volunteers like me, as this gives us a good chance to look back and to find and explore further insights and feelings and thoughts that we might not discover had we not reviewed it. I hope we can all give it a chance and who knows? We might discover something new about ourselves that we never knew existed.

Lastly, if you are still reading this, I would like to say that I had been very impressed by the energy, the vibe and positivity that many of you guys possess. And I'm truly grateful for that. Be it the older experienced volunteers, the newer ones or even the elderly, I have enjoyed the energy from you guys totally. Positivity is very contagious and I feel that we should all keep it up, as we interact with each other and with the elderly, this energy can spread or even go a long way to making someone's day, just as you guys have made mine.

Saturday mornings, catching up with friends, with elderly, befriending new ones. Life is awesome, isn't it. (:

               Today my group comprising of Darren, Kah Suan, Lu Ting and me visited Mdm Chow Moi and Mdm Lim. It's been a long time since I last visited them if I didnt remember wrongly haha...

               Initially we went to Mdm Lim's unit but she wasnt in hence we went to visit Mdm Chow Moi first. As usual Mdm Chow Moi invited us with smile and laughter still as cheerful as before : ). We wanted to do household chores but she insisted to just chit chat with her instead. And then the conversation starts... with both Kah Suan and Lu Ting struggling to initiate chat with Mdm Chow Moi as their Hokkien also cmi like me. Darren and I will intervene during some intervals when they are really stucked. Overall I guess they were having fun trying to converse in Hokkien ,with Lu Ting exceptionally noob in her Hokkien Dialect.
               After bidding goodbye to Mdm Chow Moi, we went to visit Mdm Lim. On the way to her house. we happened to bump into her at the void deck. We wanted to help her with household chores but she insisted in staying at the void deck to 乘凉. She mentioned that cooping alone whole day at home is stuffy and that will make her 神经错乱. Errmm.. and both Kah Suan and Lu Ting started their conversation with her again. And yea both of them still struggled with grasping Hokkien well and Kah Suan even went to the extent of wanting to converse with the rest of the seniors sitting around. -__-" She's too passionate and that's a good thing to compliment on !!
              Tad's all for today's sharing thx alot : )

Cheers,
Shawn

Reflections of a first-time volunteer

(naggy long-winded year 4 student alert)

Hi, I'm Kai Him and I first volunteered with T.H.E.seniors in Jan 2012 at the visit to botanical gardens. It was just a once off event but i thoroughly enjoyed myself that day, with the exteremely adorable group of aunties and uncles that I interacted with that day. I especially loved one or two of the most passionate aunties that really made my day, I felt a connection there as though I was her grandson or something. Just when i was supposed to be the one to make their day, they made mine. Perhaps this is the way that it should be, isn't it? I couldnt bear to leave them at the end of the day and seeing some of the photos we took that day on fb, I really missed them.

Then I thought, I want to see them again! or have a chance to interact with other elderly as well. Thus, I came to the orientation visit session on 29 september when jocelyn invited me. And that was my first day. Later on jocelyn sent me an sms for me to reflect upon some issues and I felt it was a brilliant idea. That led me to many other insights and I would like to just share a little with you all now.

I said that day, of my first visit:

"I don't really feel very accomplished but I was very happy to feel the positive energy from the volunteers and also how some of the older volunteers were able to click with the elderly better. I guess it takes time to get used to interacting with a different generation all together. I think I can be influenced easily by this kinda energy and enthusiasm so I was glad to be around today.

It was a good experience overall. I was with mdm tan and mr tay, who were living in very good conditions actually (than I expected and I was happy to see that). esp for mr tay who couldnt see but managed to keep his place so tidy and clean!! it was a bit sad to hear some of their problems, with health, kids, money etc. I used to think that people who can help should help those most deeply in need of help, donate money, take care of them etc. but recently I have had new thoughts, that I'm glad to see people helping out the other ppl who are not the least priviledged but still have their own problems because I believe we can make a difference to them too. like how mr tay was saying he is tight on budgets but I feel that giving him company is no less or even more impt than helping him with his cash problems. they were like very thankful for us as well, but its sad that I didnt deserve much of that because I didnt help much at all. and I wished I could be of greater help.

I tried the coffee + butter that mr tay drinks everytime! he wants three slices but I tried with one only. haha I could not really appreciate the diff between that and normal kopi but it was quite memorable, never knew such a thing existed.

Both elderly speaks only hokkien and I had difficulty, because I couldnt understand. probably catch only 10-20% sigh. maybe it will be better for me to visit a cantonese speaking elderly instead! so the language barrier was very big and I couldnt really listen and reply. many times I feel so handicapped cos I have much to say or ask or wanna hear but I cant do so. had to rely on the two older volunteers who spoke hokkien.

Overall I am very happy to meet new people, be it elderly or volunteers, who had a positive vibe and energy that I felt strongly today. "

A day filled with HAPPINESS :)

Hello people,

Are you missing all the seniors you visit last week? Let me share with you the stories and reflections for the visit today.

Today, we visited Mdm Cheong and Mdm Ho.

Writing her name 
with reference :)

Firstly, we visited Mdm Cheong. She is free today for our visit as she is down with a flu. As usual we did the normal household chores  like cleaning the windows, toilet, and mopping of floor. As she was sick and feeling hot (warm afternoon), she sat in front of 2 fans throughout the visit.

After doing all the instructed (you know what i mean if you have been there) chores, we sat down to chat with her. Some topics throughout the visit were the mid-Autumn festival celebration she attended last week, how she record events on calendar, her medication given etc. Yi An has engage her in a small activity of writing her name, as all elderly kept on saying they are uneducated, it is actually a challenge for them. Have you ever seen before people writing "_"? yup, mdm cheong wrote her name with underscores, so ingenious right?

Well Done!! Feel so proud!

We have a great time interacting with Mdm Cheong especially when we joke around. There are too many too share it right here, so do look forward to visit her on you next visit!! Okay, I will share 2 of the highlights for the visit.

Joke 1:
Mdm Cheong said: 别人睡觉，我天天都没有睡觉。
Literally, what we understood was Mdm Cheong, unlike others, does not sleep. The first reaction was "HUH??". When we ask her why didn't she sleep, she laughed and replied that it was not my habit. After that we realized that she meant that she does not take afternoon nap like others who sleeps after lunch. "Ohhh...." She explain that resting is sufficient for her and she does not need any nap. Visit her to find out how she take a rest :)

Want to know how I usually rest?

Joke 2:
Q:  Why are you so good in cleaning the floor? Did you like do it frequently? Do you help your parent?
A: Because I am majoring in mopping in the university!

We love to chat!

Next up, is our No. 50 senior Mdm Ho. Why No. 50? (It is for me to know and for you to find out!)

When we visited her, she was taking a nap. She immediately woke up to welcome us.

Chun Hai immediately initiated to sweep and clean the floor. His enthusiasm is admirable. However, today he fall into Mdm Ho's trap! Mdm Ho laughed and smile at him to ask him to stop. Why? 

Because prior to the visit, I went to Mdm Ho's house to facilitate and help her out. Before I left to meet up with the others she told me this: "Don't inform the others! Lets test their reaction." A little joke to bright up our boring day, why not? Deal!

As usual, we sat down to speak to her about everything that she has experience before. As I interact with her this time, it felt so different. The layer of wall between us on the first visit has vanished. She love to share many stories, and we like to joke with her. She really has the sense of humour!

Mdm Ho's Drink!

She is always very hospitable and offer us with her drinks! Thank you!




That is all for today. It is time for REFLECTION!

Q1: Why did I join T.H.E. Seniors?

What we have today was built by people from the past. Who are they? The seniors of course. As we move on towards goals of our lives, we should not abandon and forget about those who had work for our present. They helped us to shape our current society. That is one of the motivations that drives me to go. Our simple presents bring lots of happiness to them. Although we cannot take away their pain from their deteriorating body, neither we can change their past, we still can help them with things we could at the present!

Q2: Why are we there?

The answer varies between people. Do you treat it as a job? Do you treat it as an event to attend?

My answer is none of the above. I am there as it is part of me. I am not there because I must be there. I am not there because it is my duty. I simply like to be there every Saturday if I am able. I really enjoy the smiles of elderly and the moment they share with me. I always believe that they can feel your heart if you really put it in in the first place. Your presence is not important, but your heart is. Many senior always mention many other volunteers that are no longer visiting them, due to the hectic working life after graduate. I can feel it when they start to recognize me after just a few visit!

Alright, that is what I have learned from today's visit! Hope to see others next week!

Woon Yong :)

29 Sept: Visits to Mdm Tan & Mr Tay :)

On 29^th September, I attended my second visit and, like many others, I was excited to meet and celebrate MAF with the elderly and my new friends (Kai Sheng, Kai Him, Yun Yin, Camy and Shu Rui).

We first sought respite from the scorching sun at Mdm Tan’s house. It was brightly lit by natural light, had good ventilation and smelt rather fresh. Mdm Tan proudly told us that she had completed some cleaning prior to our visit, and thus we didn’t need to do so. I was quick to agree. However, the observant Camy noted that there were random ‘stuffs’ on the floor and that prompted us to sweep and mop the house once more, despite Mdm Tan’s short-lived protest. All this while, I was particularly worried that she would try to walk around while the floor was still wet. It was a good thing that she didn’t, phewww.

Following which, we informed Mdm Tan about the upcoming CSC’s birthday, and asked if we could take a photograph with her along with a piece of paper stating her well wishes for CSC. Initially, she seemed slightly reserved and, perhaps, a little shy. She insisted that her eyesight was poor and that she didn’t know what to write. In the end, she said that she was (and still is) very thankful for CSC because without it, she wouldn’t have met us. She was really grateful for us, and I could sense this through all her cute smiles and appreciative nods.

After an enjoyable phototaking session, everyone gathered around Mdm Tan and enquired about her day. She said that she was fine and happy, but her eyes seemed to tell a different story. At Camy’s prodding, Mdm Tan finally revealed that she was worried about her son who has kidney problems and is currently in the hospital. Due to my limited Hokkien, I could only guess that she feels hindered by her old age and poor eyesight, and her inability to provide as much support to her son as she wants to. When she hinted that she felt useless, something really tugged at my heartstrings. She seemed so helpless, so vulnerable, in a world that she could barely see or comprehend. I was suddenly reminded of my own grandmothers, and wished that I could do so much more for her too.

As much as I wanted to stay on, we were running late for our date with Mr Tay. Thus, Kai Sheng, Kai Him and I headed for Mr Tay’s apartment first while the rest stayed on. To be honest, I got a shock when he finally opened the door. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and that revealed his frail body which he later complained to be hurting all over. I didn’t expect him to be so frail and skinny; I had envisioned a uncle with slight pot belly, or at least with a bit more flab. Despite his “bone-deep” pains, he greeted us happily and warmly invited us into his house to have a drink. His house was almost pitch-dark and stuffy, a stark contrast from Mdm Tay’s. It was then that I learnt that Mr Tay is blind. He then showed us a watch and asked if it’s still working.  Yes it is, said Kai Sheng. As Mr Tay carefully placed the watch back into its original cupboard, I thought that I saw him giving a weak smile. The watch probably has some sentimental value to him.

Mr Tay then got dressed in a smart-looking shirt with rolled-up sleeves, fumbled a little for his keys and wallet, and happily got out of his house for his weekly- or biweekly- coffee treat. He revealed that he usually leaves his house only when he is accompanied by our volunteers; on other days, he’s stuck at home, alone. He mentioned that his sister used to visit him, but now she doesn’t do so anymore because “something happened to her legs”. I could only guess that she had a bad fall earlier. I’ve always been used to walking fast but that day, I learnt how to slow down my pace for others. It wasn’t a long walk from Mr Tay’s house to the coffee shop, but it was quite tiring for Mr Tay given his reduced stamina and horrible pains. It was really heartening to see the two guys flanking and supporting Mr Tay throughout.

At the coffee shop, we helped Mr Tay order his favourite cup of coffee with 3 slides of butter. He passed us a ten-dollar bill, which Kai Sheng exchanged for five 2-dollar bills and returned them to Mr Tay. In other words, Kai Sheng secretly treated Mr Tay to a cup of coffee! I want to do the same next time I visit Mr Tay again. J Kai Him, feeling adventurous, wanted to try the same coffee with 3 slides of butter too, but was somehow persuaded out of it by the auntie taking the orders. He eventually settled for coffee with one slice of butter, to which he proclaimed as “not bad” and “smooth”.

Initially, Mr Tay looked happy while he ate the mooncake and drank his coffee. After we informed him that his latest phone bill was only a few cents, he hinted that he has no one to call. He doesn’t call his aforementioned sister too, because “there is no point”. I wanted to ask why, but I couldn’t find the words… Mr Tay then emphasised his blindness, and felt that “one is useless when one can no longer see.” He then stopped eating or drinking, and sat there quietly with so much sadness in his eyes that I thought he was about to cry. He didn’t. All this while, Kai Sheng had been gently patting Mr Tay on the back to tell him that everything’s ok and that we’re all here for him. By reaching out to Mr Tay like this, Kai Sheng is able to transcend all the barriers that may have existed between him and Mr Tay, and provide him with some comfort. This is another memorable takeaway for me.

Woah I didn’t know that I would take so long to reflect on the day’s event and to write this blog post. This proves that there were so many things that I didn’t know about the elderly and myself prior to the visit, and I’m really glad and thankful for all the lessons- be they big or small- that I’ve learnt on that day. This may sound a little cliché, but the brief encounters with Mdm Tan and Mr Tay really taught me the importance of looking beyond what’s obvious. The elderly may sometimes hide behind a façade and act like they are cheerful when, in fact, they are not. They do so because of various reasons, but I think that it’s mainly because they are afraid of ‘bothering’, ‘troubling’ or ‘hurting’ their family members or people who mean something to them, like us. I can’t help but to think of how silly but selflessly noble they are.

Now I finally understand why the seniors say that “every visit is a new visit”.  I’m certainly looking forward to my next visit J

Love, Jennifer.

Clockwise from left: Camy, Shu Rui, Me, Yun Yin, Kai Sheng.

Credits to Kai Him who took this pic for us and thus couldn't be in it :P

HELLO EVERYBODY!

For the last visit, my group consisted of Woon Yong, Kah Suan, Bright, Swee Fen and myself.
We were assigned to visit Mdm Chow Moi and Mdm Cheong. Alot of people have been saying that Mdm Chow Moi was quite emotional for the past few visits but since I did not have the chance to visit her, I was wondering what caused her to be unhappy and hoping that she had cheered up this week. Indeed she seemed quite happy when she saw us. We gave her the latern and mooncake and she was staring intently when Woon Yong was drawing the CSC birthday card. When we ask her to colour the picture, she keep refusing at first, saying that she is illiterate. And she said illiterate people like her will look at a lunatic when she colour the picture. But we constantly tell her that why do you need to be literate to colour? And we told her to believe in herself when she keep saying her colouring is not nice. The picture turned out to be very nice. I feel that elderly also need constant encouragement  To tell them that they can do it and they are definitely not useless. We also sang for her=) When I ask her if she recognise me she says she does. I was glad she did because rather than being a volunteer, I hope to make her feel like we are her "friends". She may seem like a carefree elderly but I am sure she has her worries. So I try to sound her out as to why she was unhappy by asking about her health. But she said her health was ok so I didn't probe on. I apologised for not being able to visit her as often as I would like to and she told me,"Bueh yao kin. Wu eng jia lai." and gave me a smile. People are always good at consoling others but not themselves.

Next we went to visit Mdm Cheong but because she was leaving home soon she asked us to visit her next time. So we only left the mooncake and latern behind. So we went to Mdm Ho's house instead. The group there was already cleaning her house so we didn't help much. After the group has finished cleaning, we sat down and listen to Mdm Ho talk about how she acquire her multi-lingual ability last time. My group got abit too caught up talking among ourselves and thanks Chun Hai for the reminder. Elderly shoould be our priority during visits.SORRY MDM HO! We wouldn't like it when others are distracted when we are talking as well.

Sheng Xian

"Sometimes you feel so upset because of the conditions of your body... you feel pain, aches and discomfort... but when there are visitors visiting you, you have to put on a smile and show that you are appreciative of their presence" These are the words that I remembered from the previous official visit. So I hope that all of us will be able to spread and share the joy that we have, and make a difference to the life of the elderly and make them smile from their hearts:)

Kok Seng