Today was yet yet yet another super heartfelt visit for me. We went to Mdm Ho's first, where we met engwee and ah hua (two of our v dedicated T.H.E.S. alumni). I don't know how this weekly routine of housework felt so special today... I swept the floor until very SHIOK, as if I haven't swept the floor in my entire life. I think I just miss this feeling of squeezing in a small unit w my fellow T.H.E.S. volunteers, all buried in house work just for one purpose - to keep the place clean and conducive for our seniors. It's this feeling! That makes me fall in love w T.H.E.S. once again - really. :)
After a while, we sat down and dug out Chinese chess to play! Wee! I must admit I didn't focus on the game... For I was overwhelmed by this happiness in my heart, and maybe also this peace from the slowing down of pace. At that moment, I was truly enjoying myself as a volunteer.
We visited Mr Tay next, where... YES! I finally got to accompany him down for his legendary coffee trip! (Yes, it's my first time!!!) :D I ordered a cup of coffee w butterrr too ~ Woolalaa! And I got what yingcong meant when he shared w us how rich Mr Tay's expression was when he took his sips of coffee. It was PRECIOUS, that SMILE. Today I learnt that it's not only this cup of coffee that he has been waiting for 1 week (7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes) - it's also this company, this wind and this coffeeshop noise. It's to be able to step out of his house and take a breather. (In fact, right after he opened his door for us, he went to dress up in his smart long sleeve shirt and long pants w belt already!) :)
In his sharing about cooping in the house 24hrs a day, either sleeping or sitting or thinking, I could feel his frustration and loneliness. What adds on to this, is definitely his lack of eyesight which he can't possible ignore. While we sometimes focus on our own performance about what to say next to make our senior feel better whenever he shares about his depressed feelings, I thought we could also think from his perspective... I can totally imagine myself being even more frustrated and down.
But then, that's where we come in! :D We're here to bring to light their own powers, which our lovely seniors tend to forget because they get stuck in the dim thoughts of being "old and useless", "waiting for death", etc. Besides ALLOWING him to share about his depressed thoughts, we talked about HAPPY THINGS! Just now Kaisheng asked Mr Tay about what he did when he was younger. He shared about how he peed into his Principal's coffee!!!!! Amidst his words, I saw mischief written all over his face even by recalling his naughty acts from 7 decades ago. It really melted my heart. I believe strongly in being childish, regardless of your age! :D
We decided to treat Mr Tay to a meal (woonyong paid though. Oops!), but got rejected. From what I observed, Mr Tay is an individual w strong dignity and principles. He does not want to owe people - either tangibly or intangibly. And I guess as volunteers we should learn to RESPECT THEIR OPINIONS too! Or else we may end up making them feel damn bad, or worst still, making them feel like we PITY them. We don't want that to happen.
On a side note, Mr Tay also shared about how he managed to quit smoking. He said it's all psychological (fyi, he smoked one pack a day for 40 over years, but as of now he has stopped for about a year). He reminded us that for everything we do, we should do w our HEARTS.
Coming to an end, I would like to share about INDEPENDENCE. On our way back, woonyong went to open the door for Mr Tay while I supported Mr Tay. With one hand held to mine, his other hand was searching for the wall. I brought him to the wall and intentionally let go my hand w his permission - and of cos to continue looking at him and making sure it's safe. As volunteers, we've to trust that the seniors have ability to independent. Furthermore we can't be there to hold them everywhere 24/7. So I felt it was important on our part to allow them to take care of themselves. (I'm not saying we don't support our seniors at all. But in circumstances whereby they could use their environmental settings to support themselves, we should allow that to happen).
Finally, I shall conclude w this:
Don't see our seniors in the light of the needy. They're our TEACHERS because they're filled w vast experiences of life, which we can definitely learn from! :)
Lots of love,
Jocelyn
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