A Trip Back Home

My previous entries dated 14/07 and 08/06. It has been 4 months since I've blogged here.

It has also been 4 months since I last read the blog; before I typed my draft I took some time to read the latest entries by mostly new volunteers for some inspiration. They were about how they fell in love with Geylang Bahru, about how they fell in love with volunteering, and about how they fell in love with our lovely elderly. Definitely worth anyone's time reading them. Brings back so much memories when I first visited T.H.E.S. It's been 3 years.

Fortunately, it wasn't 4 months since I visited. If it were any better, I went for the unofficial visit on 19/10. It turned out quite... defining I guess. Somehow fate brought me back that particular week. It was during the time where I could take a break from everything else. I haven't been coming back regularly, finding all sorts of excuses not to. Feeling tired is probably an excuse, or probably I'm just being hard on myself again.

It turned out to be the very last time I knocked on his door.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was tasked to conduct facilitation to check if the elderly were available for visit. Prior to heading to Mdm Cheng's home, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to communicate with her in Cantonese. With a bit of coincidence, I didn't have to go up to her unit as I bumped into herself and her friend at the lift landing at the void deck. Wasn't too difficult as I had expected, I spoke to them and asked for their availability. And with my half-past-six Hokkien, I went up to check on Mdm Chow whom I really 鸡同鸭讲-ed for a while before accomplishing my mission, and Mdm Tan, who greeted me with her sweet smile as always. Bumped into Mdm Cheong outside TSAC and she commented that I haven't been visiting for a while. I didn't know how much I missed these elderly.

It was just weird, skipping the 6th floor altogether. 

The visit began proper, and my group consisting of Yong Jian, Jocelyn and myself visited Mr Tay. When we reached the doorstep, Mdm Cheong was there and she gave him a bottle of liangteh. It has been a while since she gave him that. She also seemed to be pacifying Mr Tay, so we knew that he was not in his best of moods again.

Mdm Cheong left and Mr Tay requested us to call his sister. There was the dialing tone but shortly after every dial up, the connection was cut. We told him that there was no answer, and the result was the same when he took over the receiver. What's worse is that, we had to lie about not bringing our handphones because we should not be calling using our personal numbers. This did not do any good to his mood, thus we wasted no time in bringing him to the coffeeshop for his buttercino. He complained about his poor relationship with his neighbour along the way.

Throughout, Mr Tay's mood was as gloomy as the weather. He would ruminate about his lack of eyesight, and the ailments that accompanies his old age. About the long waits for his weekly coffee and the companionship of volunteers. He alternated from saying wa jin gan kor, to kamxia lilang.

We would try to engage him in different topics to cheer him up and distract him from his sadness. We massaged him and told him about our daily lives, that our exams are coming real soon. We also conveyed a message from Chun Hai and Xueting, who are in China for their exchange. Mr Tay really missed them (and their massaging prowess) and his mood was significantly improved thereafter, smiling more often. As we sent him home, he did not kick a fuss, and thanked us non-stop in appreciation.

940 shared this in her long message and I share the same sentiments: we are very used to our vision and thus take it for granted too often. It hinders our ability to be sensitive towards elderly like Mr Tay. Although he would not be able to know if we had acknowledged what he said, sometimes all we need to do is to simply listen. 讲难听 it seems that he is always whining about stuff, he just wants to see our response if he is important to us. Hence we have to assure him that he IS important to us, through actions like bringing him down for his coffee, holding his hand, massaging him and patting him on the back.

I have to admit that when it comes to visiting Mr Tay, it is not easy to keep up with his volatile mood swings, and I mentioned before that it can get frustrating at times. I am thankful for timely reminders from my fellow volunteers that we are constantly making impact on our elderly's lives and that our companionship keeps them going. The volunteering journey is not always a smooth-sailing one but this is what that makes it more fulfilling.

Feels great to be back home. It will be a while till the next visit. All the best to everyone for your exams! :)

-Jeremy 阿乐