Hello! this saturday was my 4th visit with T.H.E.seniors but i already feel like i fit into this group so comfortaby! it is a great feeling. i feel so at home because of the elderly who let us know that they appreciate our efforts, because of you people's energy and your courage to show your love, in your actions and in your words. it is great to feel connected in such a way (not many people around me are open to expressing their emotions like some of us do, esp for guys haha, im quite rare ;)) i cant say more! this is like the best thing that happened to me in NUS for 3 years and running. i love people, especially like-minded people who see beauty in the simplest of things which the fast-paced world seem to leave behind.
anw enough of going on and on abt this, shall share more about the visit itself! first up, i have to say that generally i thought that the program wasnt very suitable. dont get me wrong, we all all appreciate the efforts by jeremy esp when he had to teach us all how to make the ketupat! it was no easy task. but i felt that it was a great idea to celebrate hari raya + deepavali but maybe the execution wasnt very appropriate. the ketupat was really difficult to make hahhaa im ashamed to say that but it really was evidently complicated for most of us. i think the thing is also that it distracted many of our volunteers from what was the real task, to engage the elderly to take part tgt etc. at least that was the case for my group. much time was used in learning first, then trying to complete it later on. because mdm lim did not show interest in the two forms of program we had, we thought that we would just do it for her ourselves and so the two ngee ann sec boys were very engrossed in completing the sand art work and i felt that the short term aim was not directed well. thats of cos mainly our own fault in failing to engage them. i wish we had done it better! and mdm lim also pointed out that she is sensitive to the sand art and i think that is a very note-worthy point which i already informed jeremy of. because the sand is fine and easily blown by the wind, it might cause respiratory discomfort or even choking etc for our elderly whose bodies do not work as well :(
so yes, mdm lim was the first elderly criss, kok seng, swee fen, the 2 ngee ann sec school boys and i visited. she was not interested in the art work so i started chatting with her instead. and i was SO HAPPY that she spoke cantonese!!! for the first few visits i had mostly visited hokkien speaking elderly and had no chance to use my only talent: canto! hahaha. i felt bad i talked to her a lot in canto cos that excluded the rest from the convo most of the time but im still glad that i felt that i was able to engage her personally. she talked about her usual habits of coming downstairs to cui cui feng which i really agreed. she also said that if we couldnt find her downstairs at the block or at her hse den she would be away as sometimes her neighbours invited her to their house to sit sit and chit chat. i also fully encouraged her to do so. but in the convo i felt that she didnt really like to talk about herself or felt that she didnt have much to talk about with others, and she said she would just sit and listen to her friends talk. she also complained about her heart problems. she take medicine three times a day. and when she had heart ache she was to immediately put a pill in her mouth. i dunno the name of the medicine but those are common medications for heart problems etc. she said some disheartening things that went along the line of being sick is horrible she would rather not be around :( struck me quite badly because i dunno how to comfort her. but all i could do was to say, dont say such things, and to give a small little pat and gesture on her arms to show a little love and concern. we were trying to engage her to share some stories with us, but as previously she didnt have much to tell. maybe her past wasnt as exciting as she hoped it was. maybe she had some sad events that she did not want to recall. i dunno. she also said that she couldnt speak a lot because it gets tiring sometimes, and i could vaguely hear her louder and more forceful breathing. so, i told her next time, i'd visit her and i'd do the talking! everytime we expect and want them to talk to us, to share their history, ideals etc. i actually wonder how interested they will be in our own life story! not as exciting, but next time i would share with mdm lim some small little happenings in my life as well. friendship works both ways doesnt it. perhaps you all could think about it and try it too. sometimes the elderly get tired of talking so much in one shot esp if they do not talk a lot normally, one day use up one week's quota. we could do more talking, instead of asking all the time! and as i had to break the news that we had to leave to see mdm tan, i felt a tinge of sadness. in her eyes i saw a lil loneliness, a lil gratefulness, but all i could do was to hold her hand and give her a smile, and hope that she feels my sincerity. i hope to talk to her again very very soon (:
next we visited mdm tan. i had been to her place on my first visit and remembered her to be extremely cute! adorable she was, no doubt. the contagious giggling! as usual the place was so clean but we still mopped the floor. oh there is a hole in one of her pails! :( any ideas on how to sort this out? and since i cant speak hokkien, i could only sit and listen to criss and kok seng's conversations with her. i love how adorable our two ladies were. and i wish i could converse in hokkien! starting to learn more actively now :D after mdm tan talked for a period of time, she choked a bit probably due to some flam or something. which again leads us to the same point. as we love to hear them speak, their bodies feel tired much faster than us and we have to remember that. since she cant see well, she cant remember people and can only personally remember a few of the older volunteers! we should build an "identity" with the elderly so that they can rmbr us better, and we would be able to connect and build our friendship even better! and before we left, we also held her hand and said see you in our own ways.
i think some people go through the motion of shaking hands, to holding hands, to giving a hug, to giving a pat on the back. but to me, it means so much more. this short period of physical contact is actually a transmission of emotions, of love, and shows how much you care for the other party. the next time u do so, do not do it hurriedly. slow down, look at the other party in the eye and feel the connection as your hands touch. believe that the exchange of care and concern will reach both parties, and i promise you it will. holding the hands of the elderly, i feel no less love and emotions than holding the hand of my partner, if not more.
and since the last time gillian shared her story about her visiting her grandparents more after joining our program, i also had a thing for it. my grandma lives right above me (hdb) but due to her determination not to "bother" us we dont even have meals tgt and she lives alone. i dont see her frequently and even when i do at gatherings, we dont talk a lot because she would be talking more to my parents/uncle/auntie and me talking to my siblings/cousins. last week i could leave school early on wednesday (once in a long time) and i eagerly went home early to visit her. it is a different experience all tgt as i feel i have much more patience and much more interest in her stories etc. loves. for us who have the blessings of having grandparents around, i hope we can show a bit more love and concern and give them our love. also as lijia rightfully reminded us: our parents deserve so much more of our time.
i know i am a very naggy person, and i have digressed a lot. and i know that long essays dont work as well as short ones with good organisation. however, i also know that at least a handful of you will be reading my post word for word hehe so i 'm not worried, and i hope that i have brought some new insights to you guys as well (:
sharing is caring.
kai him
No comments:
Post a Comment