小猫跳跳跳，小狗叫叫叫，小弟哈哈笑！
Guess who we learnt this from?


None other than ....


..............



.......



*drumrolls*



..............




..........


MR TAY! 
我们学会liao! :D

That's one of the cute songs he learnt in his school long ago, the next time one of you could surprise him by reciting this! 



Yes, it was my turn to visit Uncle Tay with Shengxian and Jeraldine, and witness the legendary Kopi with Butter (x3) for myself. Noteworthy is the amazing speed of the Kopi aunty in bringing his special drink to him before we had even sat down. And another aunty who delivered herbal tea to him and offered to get food for him.
Wah this Uncle Tay, popular guy leh.... ;)

But firstly, for those who are new to Uncle Tay, I dug up this post from the blog (credits to Kaihim)
Uncle Tay's "standard moves" as quoted:

1. Ask if we have eaten.
2. Offer us can drinks.
3. Repeat 1 and 2 indefinitely.
4. Ask if we brought him newspapers.
5. Go drink kopi!

 IT'S ALL TRUE!!!!
 And all these involved him standing and walking about despite his body pains, wanting to make us feel comfortable in his house.

1.5 hours of kopi and chatting (which seemed too fast btw), and there're so many things I'd hold close to my heart and never forget. 

The way Uncle Tay's face lit up (yes, really it's true!) when he suggested that we go drink kopi with him.
How he thanked us many many many times (that's an understatement) throughout the 1.5 hours for bringing him down and accompanying him.
The many things he remember from his childhood! Wartime, what he learnt in school, things he did.
Telling us that he will play the harmonica for us if we get one for him.
Laughing when we asked him to teach us Teochew cos we are noobs at it. 
Saying he is really happy whenever we are there on Saturdays, and that his pains magically disappear LOL.  The big smile when he said that was priceless.
Sharing with us about his sister who can't really visit him anymore because of her legs. There was this sadness and helplessness as he shared this.
His independent demeanour - making sure he has his keys with him at all times, telling us to open his letterbox, and paying for his drink.
Repeatedly rejecting the aunty's offers to help him get his food (hahaha the aunty was so exasperated by that) because he didn't want to trouble her.

And the way he tried to hide his disappointment when it was time for us to leave and he had to go home. Telling us that we must visit him next Saturday. And thanking us profusely again.

We will Because we know how important these Saturdays are to him. 



After a month with THES, I saw the reason that gets each of us up early on Saturday mornings all the way to Geylang Bahru.
Each visit gives us so many lessons that cannot be learnt elsewhere. Uncle Tay's independence despite the many difficulties he faces, his generosity towards us, sincerity, and his easy contentment. I guess we see all these in all the elderly there.

We return week after week not because it's an obligation, but because we really want to.
But why? Why do we want to?
Because They're the ones who've been touching our hearts, over and over again.
And what's the least we could do? Housework for them, listening to them - both sad and happy stories they have, giving our time to them.
That's the least we could do. :)



- LIJIA

I was assigned to visit Mdm Ho today...again! Haha! Mdm Ho seems to be the elderly resident that I have visited for the most number of times ever since the start of my volunteering stint with T.H.E. Seniors. As usual, we did the regular chores--- sweeping, mopping and wiping. But today was rather different because we had a new 'visitor'-- a Bangladeshi door painter. Why do I specially mention him? Well, because I discovered a few things through Mdm Ho's interactions with him. So here goes...

Most of us would more or less know Mdm Ho's 'pattern'. She keeps a close eye on you while you meddle with her stuff with a broom or mop or rag in your hands. AND her supervision doesn't stop at just watching you; she readily gives comments (euphemism intended) when she notices that you are doing things the wrong way (at least in her view). So it's really not surprising to hear her 'scolding' Woon Yong as he worked his way around the house. Hold on a minute... at this time you'd most probably think that I am bullshitting--- Mdm Ho scolding Woon Yong?!?!?! That's not very possible right--- considering that she always sings praises of him and even specifically requested for Woon Yong to visit her.  Haha I will reassure you once more; she does tell him off and she goes all out in doing so. But here's the difference--if you don't know the insider secrets, you'd think that Mdm Ho is being very hard on and unappreciative of what we have done for her. But allow me to offer a new perspective-- this is exactly Mdm Ho's unique way of caring for someone. Yup, you didn't read me wrong. This rationale works the same as the Chinese saying " 打是疼，骂是爱". Still not convinced? Aha...I will offer some concrete evidence here. Remember the door painter? Ok, so now's finally the time to bring him in to our story. Being Mdm Ho, of course she will not give up on the opportunity to interact with people (she has the ability to talk to just about anyone...and I really mean anyone regardless of race, language or religion LOL) So, Mdm Ho had been talking to the door painter intermittently. At first, she asked him about stuff related to the door painting task---will the inner side of the door be painted etc. After the contents of that conversation topic had been fully exhausted, the content of her subsequent conversations with him started to revolve around us, the volunteers.  As and when, Mdm Ho will tell the door painter that we 'come over every Sunday (actually it's Saturday, but that's not really important haha) to help out..we clean everything..we receive no pay..' She repeated this for about 5-6 times (I'm serious), just like how she always praises the alumnus Ah Hua for coming to help and how he's now a successful lecturer earning huge bucks every month $.$ So you get my point. Mdm Ho may 'criticise' our clumsiness at doing housework but she means no harm. In fact, if she doesn't say anything at all, it'll be really boring, wouldn't it? That's all part of the joy of volunteering :) And to add on, while I was performing the stunt of dusting the top surface of Mdm Ho's wardrobe, she looked rather worried-- like I may fall off the chair that I was standing on anytime. She kept asking me '可以吗？’ and said that there's no need to do a very thorough cleaning up there. So there... it's really not hard to spot Mdm Ho's 关怀方式.

My point is that T.H.E. Seniors is really a good place to see the good in others. For me, I choose to believe that everyone is kind by nature. And a kind heart is exactly beauty in its own right.

Shuqin :)

How blessed we all are

CSC visiting reflections Moon cake festival visit

Mdm Ho

She appeared as cheery and cute as always. She reported having backache. We helped to do some housework for her and chat with her.  She is generally in a good emotional state. We gave her a lantern and a moon cake. She said words of thanks to CSC and wishes CSC a happy birthday.

Mdm Lim

I heard this is the first time ever that any volunteer visited her. She speaks hokkien. She is friendly and engages with us. We gave her a lantern, a moon cake and played some oldie on the phone for her to listen to. She wished CSC volunteers good health for CSC’s birthday.  She shared with us about the past and said that she has been suffering from back problems since a few years back and she is unable to lie down for a proper rest since then. She appears to be chatty, smiling and joking a lot. However, she did point out that she is actually generally unhappy with life. She looked like she was about to cry when she said that. She commented that it is difficult to be happy although she tries and that she is just putting up a false happy front because of guests. I guess we should make more effort to engage her and make her feel that there are cute kids who care. Oh. And she only drinks a particular brand of instant coffee, everyday.

13 OCTOBER visit :)

Mdm Ho

Did housework for her and chat with her. She appears to be happy to have our company and enjoy our visits She did, although, have a slight complain about her back pains (I think it got worse) and showed poor appetite (maybe it was also because the rice was too hard, according to her).  Based on observation, she looks tired. Generally still in a happy state.

Mr Chiu

A lesson drawn: CHECK THE EXPIRY DATES OF THE FOOD THEY KEEP!

To our horror, we found that he keeps a lot of expired food in the fridge and on the table. So we checked and discarded those expired food for him, did some housework and chat with him. He drinks; I think 5 cups of coffee every day? He can recite chim poems in Cantonese. He is friendly and jovial.

I look forward to every visit because I see things from a perspective I never ever had. It makes you feel a sense of shame, and makes you wonder why you haven't realised how blessed you actually are.



- Gillian

1 million lessons from 2 visits

I missed visits for the past 2 weeks due to the service-learning workshop conducted by TOUCH Leadership & Mentoring. So to be honest, while I was feeling excited to be able to finally go for visit today, there was a little bit of inertia about travelling. But as it turns out, unsurprisingly, it's all so worth it.

Today was yet yet yet another super heartfelt visit for me. We went to Mdm Ho's first, where we met engwee and ah hua (two of our v dedicated T.H.E.S. alumni). I don't know how this weekly routine of housework felt so special today... I swept the floor until very SHIOK, as if I haven't swept the floor in my entire life. I think I just miss this feeling of squeezing in a small unit w my fellow T.H.E.S. volunteers, all buried in house work just for one purpose - to keep the place clean and conducive for our seniors. It's this feeling! That makes me fall in love w T.H.E.S. once again - really. :)

After a while, we sat down and dug out Chinese chess to play! Wee! I must admit I didn't focus on the game... For I was overwhelmed by this happiness in my heart, and maybe also this peace from the slowing down of pace. At that moment, I was truly enjoying myself as a volunteer. 

We visited Mr Tay next, where... YES! I finally got to accompany him down for his legendary coffee trip! (Yes, it's my first time!!!) :D I ordered a cup of coffee w butterrr too ~ Woolalaa! And I got what yingcong meant when he shared w us how rich Mr Tay's expression was when he took his sips of coffee. It was PRECIOUS, that SMILE. Today I learnt that it's not only this cup of coffee that he has been waiting for 1 week (7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes) - it's also this company, this wind and this coffeeshop noise. It's to be able to step out of his house and take a breather. (In fact, right after he opened his door for us, he went to dress up in his smart long sleeve shirt and long pants w belt already!) :) 

In his sharing about cooping in the house 24hrs a day, either sleeping or sitting or thinking, I could feel his frustration and loneliness. What adds on to this, is definitely his lack of eyesight which he can't possible ignore. While we sometimes focus on our own performance about what to say next to make our senior feel better whenever he shares about his depressed feelings, I thought we could also think from his perspective... I can totally imagine myself being even more frustrated and down. 

But then, that's where we come in! :D We're here to bring to light their own powers, which our lovely seniors tend to forget because they get stuck in the dim thoughts of being "old and useless", "waiting for death", etc. Besides ALLOWING him to share about his depressed thoughts, we talked about HAPPY THINGS! Just now Kaisheng asked Mr Tay about what he did when he was younger. He shared about how he peed into his Principal's coffee!!!!! Amidst his words, I saw mischief written all over his face even by recalling his naughty acts from 7 decades ago. It really melted my heart. I believe strongly in being childish, regardless of your age! :D 

We decided to treat Mr Tay to a meal (woonyong paid though. Oops!), but got rejected. From what I observed, Mr Tay is an individual w strong dignity and principles. He does not want to owe people - either tangibly or intangibly. And I guess as volunteers we should learn to RESPECT THEIR OPINIONS too! Or else we may end up making them feel damn bad, or worst still, making them feel like we PITY them. We don't want that to happen. 

On a side note, Mr Tay also shared about how he managed to quit smoking. He said it's all psychological (fyi, he smoked one pack a day for 40 over years, but as of now he has stopped for about a year). He reminded us that for everything we do, we should do w our HEARTS. 

Coming to an end, I would like to share about INDEPENDENCE. On our way back, woonyong went to open the door for Mr Tay while I supported Mr Tay. With one hand held to mine, his other hand was searching for the wall. I brought him to the wall and intentionally let go my hand w his permission - and of cos to continue looking at him and making sure it's safe. As volunteers, we've to trust that the seniors have ability to independent. Furthermore we can't be there to hold them everywhere 24/7. So I felt it was important on our part to allow them to take care of themselves. (I'm not saying we don't support our seniors at all. But in circumstances whereby they could use their environmental settings to support themselves, we should allow that to happen). 

Finally, I shall conclude w this: 
Don't see our seniors in the light of the needy. They're our TEACHERS because they're filled w vast experiences of life, which we can definitely learn from! :)

Lots of love, 
Jocelyn

Good Morning!

How are you? Having backache? Insomnia last night? What we experience are just short moments of our life. However, when we age these nightmare will haunt us every night. 

Today was the day that everyone look forward for both volunteers and seniors. A short two hour thing is something that we all can do to change one live. It is my first visit for Mr Tay and as usual my regular visit to Mdm Ho.

First we went to Mdm Ho's house. When we went in Mdm Ho look so happy. Why? Anyone can make a guess?..... The legendary visitor (Ah Hua) came. My first time meeting him! I wonder if I can make such commitments like him next time? I believe this will be the test for us to REDISCOVER our purpose of volunteering.

This is the first time, for me, Mdm Ho changing her curtains. It is quite a difficult task if you do not have the skills and patience. However, of course, all of us do! yay! =D 

Changing Curtains

Jocelyn first try with curtain pins

While finding more curtain pins this is what i found... Pretty right?

Shortly after every thing is done Ah hua and Ah Lim went over to Mdm Cheong's House (as instructed, if you know what I mean haha). As there is still time, we stayed with Mdm Ho to chit chat again. I believe that due to visiting Mdm Ho every week, the topic differs from the first few visits. Historical stories no longer fills the air, instead we were talking about the moments that we share! The memorable moments that Kaisheng (:P) has given, the joy that all volunteers gave, lots of interesting moments! I believe this is the power of touching one's life. Agree?

After some moment, a bit random, Mdm Ho ask if we want to play "DUM" (chess in general). At first, I thought was a game called "DUM", the red and black chess, and wanted to play with Mdm Ho. In the end, it was chinese chess! LOL (Play chinese chess!). As it is hard to play chess with Mdm Ho, and cannot reject her kind offer, we played for her to see. It was Team Felicia VS Team Jocelyn + me, as felicia say she knows how to play. As felicia is better, Mdm Ho was our adviser! We enjoyed the game!

Felicia thinking hard!

Guess who won?

Next up...my first visit to Mr Tay's house!!
Today as we went a bit later then usual, Mr Tay was asleep when we arrive. However, when we call for him, something really touch me! He open the door with a big smile!! He said "I am so happy to hear that you came, I thought I need to wait for another week." Once again, a second touch for today!

When I went in his home, I was like WOW!!! Though being visually impaired but yet this house is neat and tidy! As per norm, he offered drinks and bread to us, and then he quickly change into his neat clothes and ....ready to go!

No Butter, 1 butter and 3 butter (top)!

The lim-kopi session was so exciting as it was the first time i try coffee with butter (but 1 slice). The taste was not as bad as i thought, in actual fact, I quite like it, thinking of upgrading to 2 or 3 slices on the next visit.

Hearing much about him, made Jocelyn and I very curious that we never stop popping questions about Mr Tay's stories. He was so happy to share his whole life experience. In between he taught us a lot of his life lessons and advise us not to take his path. We should not blind ourselves with things that we will repent for life later.

Lim-Kopi!!

Jocelyn having his first session with Mr Tay!

Stories behind a cup of butter-ed coffee

There were many touching moments just during a short coffee session. One cup of coffee to bring you through 80+ years of stories! <3 all="all" for="for" forward="forward" look="look" next="next" p="p" s="s" that="that" to="to" today="today" week="week">

Woon Yong

Words said

(raw translation)

UNCLE LIM:

"Don't need to help me to sweep! Don't need to help me to clean, I already cleaned. It's okay! You all sit down lah."

"Us old people are actually very lucky. You see, we have 触爱 and you students helping us, we are very fortunate."

"老了就没用了。"
BUT...
"I always help out at the centre whenever I'm free. I'm not sick, I still can do what I can. They give us so much and so we should do what we can too."

"The welfare services say they want to send someone to help me clean the house every Saturday."
Us: "uh... Which means they will be here when we are here?"
"Then you all don't need to clean mah!"
"Huh..... But we still want to come and see you leh!"
- & Uncle Lim gives a what-are-you-thinking laugh O.o - 
"If you want to come, OF COURSE i welcome you lah! Why? You all want to make friends with me, why would I not want?!"



UNCLE LEE:

"Look at all my godsons and goddaughters..." *introduces them excitedly from the photos on his famous wall*

"Wah, that time I took part in a play with some sec school students. They all called me Papa, I hear already SIBEH SHIOK ah!"

"我是一个很念旧的人，see I still keep this muffin they gave me for my Birthday. (all of us jaw-dropped) really cannot bear to eat leh! I will throw it away when a new one comes in next year! ;)"
(hint hint? hahaha)


AUNTY TAN:

"I make tea using these tea leaves every day. Very bitter!!"
*holds out tea leaves to one of us* "YOU WANT TO TRY?!"
Hahaha and she laughed heartily when we said nononono. D:

(pardon the lack of chatterlog for Aunty Tan because I had to leave)


--
Why a chatterlog for my first blogpost here?
Because we can only begin to help when we begin to listen. These are small snippets of conversation from my first two visits to these seniors.

It was my first time doing house visits and all of the elderly were cheerful people who welcomed and thanked us profusely each time we went.
But it's only after much chatting that they begin to share their stories with you, and let you in. And you sort of have a glimpse - however brief - at the possible sadness behind the smiles.

They cherish so many little things that we, more often than not, take for granted. We definitely live in much better conditions, and have more friends & family than them. But I guess I could safely say a majority of us grumble & complain more about life than them.
Contentment with small gifts (recall the half-year-old muffin), with little bits of help given, with simply a place to stay in and food to eat.


There's a reason why we're doing this though our visits are purely to help them with housework, understand and spend time with them - not raising funds, not donations.
But it's always the time you've taken out, and the company you've given, that will leave a mark, that will make that difference to them.

Anyway they are so cute you won't want to stop visiting them once you've begun! :D 

- LI JIA

13 Oct Visit:)

My group (Swee Fen, Jeremy, Chaur Ann, Kok Seng, Ee Hui) and I visited Mr Lee and Mdm Cheong yesterday:) I was quite lucky as both of the elderly that we visited could speak Chinese so I could understand what they were saying:)

We went to visit Mr Lee first and once we reached his house, he showed us all the photos that were pasted on his wall. They formed the words "触爱" which stands for TOUCH. Mr Lee took his cane and pointed to each photo, telling us who he took it with and where he took it at. It felt like he was the teacher giving us a lesson as we stood around listening to him and I could tell that he was enjoying himself:) He also asked us to take photo with him so that he could replace those photos of himself with the photos he took with us:) So each of us took an individual shot with him before we took a group shot:) Halfway through the visit, Mr Lee suddenly said that he forgot to offer us drinks and quickly took out packets of drinks from the refrigerator. We quickly told him that we weren't thirsty but Mr Lee said that he went to buy those drinks for us on friday as he knew we were coming the next day and so we accepted the drinks. However, we told him not to spend money on us again the next time. The elderly are really very nice to us, always buying drinks for us even though they don't have much money to spend on themselves. From this, we can also see how much they look forward to us visiting them every Saturday as they will even prepare for the visit beforehand.

Mr Lee also told us about all those major outings that he went to and I can tell that he looks forward to the next one as he asked us where we planned to go. His enthusiasm makes me very excited for the next major outing too!!:)

Next, we visited Mdm Cheong:) We helped her to clean up her house before we sat down to chat with her:) There wasn't much for us to do as her house is actually quite clean. Mdm Cheong had to think for a while to see what some of us can do because she said they were too many of us that day! I think it was just so funny when she said she wanted to check whether the windows were really clean after we cleaned it and she even called herself the boss!:) After chatting with her for a while, it was time for us to go.

Time really passes very quickly when I visit the seniors. I always feel very bad when we have to tell them that it was time for us to leave. Somehow, I could feel that they were also quite sad when we had to leave although they always say goodbye to us with a smile. I feel that every visit is just so short and I think that these elderly feel the same way too:(

I felt that the two seniors that I visited yesterday were really cheerful! It felt really different as compared to my previous few visits. According to the other groups, the seniors that they visited seemed quite happy as well! I'm just so glad to see the seniors being happy:) I felt very happy after yesterday's visit and I just feel that each visit just gets better and better for me:)

Joscelin:)